VZCZCXRO9721
OO RUEHAST RUEHBI RUEHCI RUEHLH RUEHPW
DE RUEHNE #0938/01 0920602
ZNR UUUUU ZZH
O 010602Z APR 08
FM AMEMBASSY NEW DELHI
TO RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC IMMEDIATE 1148
INFO RUCNCLS/ALL SOUTH AND CENTRAL ASIA COLLECTIVE
RUCNNSG/NUCLEAR SUPPLIERS GROUP COLLECTIVE
RUEAIIA/CIA WASHDC
RHEBAAA/DEPT OF ENERGY WASHINGTON DC
RHEHNSC/NSC WASHDC
RUEHUNV/USMISSION UNVIE VIENNA 1442
RUCNDT/USMISSION USUN NEW YORK 6235

UNCLAS SECTION 01 OF 02 NEW DELHI 000938 
 
SIPDIS 
 
SENSITIVE 
SIPDIS 
 
E.O. 12958: N/A 
TAGS: PREL PARM TSPL KNNP ETTC ENRG TRGY IN
SUBJECT: AMBASSADOR FASTS FOR NUCLEAR DEAL 
 
¶1. (SBU) This is an action request for SCA.  Please see para 
¶7. 
 
¶2. (SBU) Summary: The Ambassador told Foreign Secretary 
Shivshankar Menon April 1 that he will go on a hunger strike 
until the UPA government submits the IAEA safeguards 
agreement to the Board of Governors.  Moreover, he continued, 
like Mahatma Gandhi, he will march to the Department of 
Atomic Energy headquarters in Mumbai in an effort to mobilize 
public opinion in support of the nuclear initiative.  In a 
separate April 1 meeting, the Ambassador told National 
Security Advisor M.K. Narayanan that the alignment of Jupiter 
and Saturn in April would prevail on the Board to look more 
favorably on the agreement than if the Board considered 
approval in May.  Narayanan countered that his birth chart 
predicted a big international event in May, which he 
interpreted as passage of the safeguards agreement. 
Narayanan also expressed concern that the U.S. Embassy 
chancery faced east, and advised the Ambassador to rotate the 
foundation 90 degrees, allowing the sun and planets to assist 
U.S. efforts on the nuclear initiative.  The Ambassador 
requests funding from SCA for the rotation of the chancery 
and yoga classes.  End Summary. 
 
Menon Supports Ambassador's Nuclear Fast 
- - - 
 
¶3. (SBU) In an April 1 meeting with Foreign Secretary 
Shivshankar Menon, the Ambassador conveyed that if the next 
UPA-Left committee meeting on the civil nuclear initiative 
prolongs the delay in submitting the safeguards agreement to 
the Board of Governors, he will commence a fast.  The 
Ambassador warned that during the fast he will consume only 
wasabi-and-lime-flavored California-grown almonds, on which, 
he noted, the UPA government currently imposes a luxury tax. 
Menon responded that such a fast might help force the 
government to rise above "petty politics" and embrace the 
Ambassador's "new-found Gandhian ethics."  However, he 
advised that lentils and ghee would provide more nutrition 
than savory almonds during a fast. 
 
Nuclear Yatra Also on the Cards 
- - - 
 
¶4. (SBU) The Ambassador also floated the idea of conducting a 
march to the Department of Atomic Energy headquarters in 
Mumbai in the days immediately before the next committee 
meeting.  The Ambassador asserted that he would wear a dhoti 
(white robe) and chappals (sandals) and carry a staff while 
he walked between villages and exhorted locals to support an 
initiative that could potentially bring energy to the 
countryside.  Such a march could help illustrate that the 
vast majority of Indians support stronger U.S.-India ties and 
the nuclear initiative.  Menon counseled against the march, 
which he claimed would expose the Ambassador to potholes and 
wild monkeys, but he suggested that the Ambassador begin 
spinning home-spun khadi cloth in Roosevelt House to show 
that Indians will have to make their own, energy-free 
clothing if the nuclear initiative remains unfinished. 
 
Narayanan's Planets Are Not Aligned with the Ambassador's 
- - - 
 
¶5. (SBU) In a separate April 1 meeting with National Security 
Advisor M.K. Narayanan, the Ambassador related that he had 
recently met with an astrologer, who observed that the IAEA 
Board would approve the safeguards agreement in April, during 
which Jupiter and Saturn share an alignment.  In May, 
however, Mars interferes with the larger planets, making the 
Board decision more difficult to achieve, the Ambassador 
cautioned.  The interference of Mars will actually prove an 
obstacle for the Communists, Narayanan corrected, and added 
that the tilt of Venus towards Mercury during that time will 
make them more "level-headed and rational."  The Ambassador 
asked how Uranus figures into the equation.  Narayanan 
acknowledged that Uranus could have a negative impact on the 
voting of Ireland and Austria in the Board of Governors, but 
he hoped that Neptune would counteract Uranus' adverse 
effect.  Narayanan asked for the Ambassador's thoughts 
regarding Pluto's influence on the nuclear initiative.  The 
Ambassador replied, "Pluto is not a planet." 
 
Narayanan Gives Vaastu Shastra Advice 
- - - 
 
 
NEW DELHI 00000938  002.4 OF 002 
 
 
¶6. (SBU) Narayanan observed that U.S.-India relations have 
suffered because the U.S. Embassy was not situated in proper 
alignment with the planets and earth.  While Embassy features 
such as water fountains and flower gardens would normally 
clear the mind and allow U.S. mission personnel to regard 
India positively, the chancery receives too much shade, which 
darkens the U.S. perspective towards India.  "You should 
shift the Chancery 90 degrees so that it faces east," 
Narayanan directed.  An eastern facing Chancery would receive 
the sun for longer hours, making the U.S. officers' outlook 
towards India brighter, he said, and placing it directly 
under the influence of the asteroid belt, which would give 
the U.S. strength.  The Ambassador remarked that he has 
started yoga, and demonstrated the "sleeping dog" position. 
Narayanan commended his flexibility, and recommended that he 
attempt the "twitching scorpion" and "napping platypus," 
which would develop an aura to facilitate the completion of 
the nuclear initiative.  Narayanan warned him to stay away 
from nuclear-themed yoga positions such as "breeding 
plutonium" and "melting reactor," which would violate patents 
submitted by India's nuclear scientists. 
 
Action Request and Comment 
- - - 
 
¶7. (SBU) The Ambassador requests USD 250 million to shift the 
Chancery 90 degrees, which, according to Narayanan, will help 
facilitate the completion of the civil nuclear cooperation 
initiative.  Considering the stakes of U.S. firms in the 
completion of the initiative, post suggests that the 
Department approach General Electric and Westinghouse to 
contribute.  The Ambassador also requests funding for yoga 
classes for the Embassy, which in addition to making the 
mission more flexible and relaxed, will also help channel our 
positive energy to contribute to the U.S.-India strategic 
partnership. 
 
¶8. (SBU) Comment: Happy April Fool's Day from Incredible 
India! 
WHITE