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Viewing cable 08ASHGABAT5, TURKMENISTAN: ARRANGED MARRIAGES MAKE A COMEBACK, BUT

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Reference ID Created Released Classification Origin
08ASHGABAT5 2008-01-02 12:46 2011-08-30 01:44 UNCLASSIFIED//FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY Embassy Ashgabat
VZCZCXRO3162
PP RUEHAG RUEHAST RUEHBI RUEHCI RUEHDF RUEHIK RUEHLH RUEHLN RUEHLZ
RUEHPW RUEHROV RUEHVK RUEHYG
DE RUEHAH #0005/01 0021246
ZNR UUUUU ZZH
P 021246Z JAN 08
FM AMEMBASSY ASHGABAT
TO RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC PRIORITY 9959
INFO RUCNCLS/ALL SOUTH AND CENTRAL ASIA COLLECTIVE PRIORITY
RUCNCIS/CIS COLLECTIVE PRIORITY
RUCNMEM/EU MEMBER STATES COLLECTIVE PRIORITY
RUEHAK/AMEMBASSY ANKARA PRIORITY 3166
RUEHBJ/AMEMBASSY BEIJING PRIORITY 0981
RUEHKO/AMEMBASSY TOKYO PRIORITY 0855
RUEHIT/AMCONSUL ISTANBUL PRIORITY 1429
RUEKJCS/JOINT STAFF WASHDC PRIORITY
RHMFIUU/CDR USCENTCOM MACDILL AFB FL PRIORITY
RUEKJCS/SECDEF WASHDC PRIORITY
RUEAIIA/CIA WASHDC PRIORITY
RHEHNSC/NSC WASHDC PRIORITY
RHEFDIA/DIA WASHDC PRIORITY
RUEHVEN/USMISSION USOSCE PRIORITY 2048
UNCLAS SECTION 01 OF 03 ASHGABAT 000005 
 
SIPDIS 
 
SENSITIVE 
SIPDIS 
 
STATE FOR SCA/CEN, DRL 
 
E.O. 12958: N/A 
TAGS: PGOV PHUM ECON SOCI TX
SUBJECT:  TURKMENISTAN:  ARRANGED MARRIAGES MAKE A COMEBACK, BUT 
WITH A TWIST 
 
Reftels: A) 07 Ashgabat 1387 
         B) 07 Ashgabat 1400 
 
1.  (U) Sensitive but unclassified.  Not for public Internet. 
 
2.  (SBU) SUMMARY: In Turkmenistan, a traditional country where most 
women still marry rather than face the social stigma from remaining 
single, women's rights are closely linked to marriage customs. 
Although the pre-Soviet custom of arranged marriages has made a 
comeback since Turkmenistan received its independence, most such 
marriages now involve the consent of both the groom and the bride. 
While family and social pressure to go through with an arranged 
marriage can be intense, Turkmenistan's law -- and families' wish to 
avoid potentially shameful suicide -- help ensure that most women 
are no longer forced into unwelcome marriages.  All this does not 
ensure the subsequent success of a marriage, but it does give most 
women a voice in choosing who they marry.  END SUMMARY. 
 
ARRANGED MARRIAGES CONTINUE TRADITIONS 
 
3.  (U) Among Turkmen, the sense of family runs deep, and one's 
sense of duty to one's family influences almost all aspects of an 
individual's life, including marriage.  In Turkmenistan's culture, 
arranging a marriage comprises more than just making a match for two 
individuals.  Instead, it becomes the selection process for a new 
member of the household, as the bride, in a symbolic and literal 
sense, leaves her own family to become a member of her new husband's 
extended family. 
 
4.  (U) In the old days, before Soviet influences had begun to break 
down the Turkmen's traditional nomadic lifestyle, marriages were 
arranged within family clans and inside of a single tribe.  Often, 
the engagement of the young couple would take place at an early age 
in order to avoid giving the children a chance to protest -- and to 
allow the family unit to take advantage early on of the economic 
benefits, including the shares of land and water granted by village 
authorities to the new household.  Another common practice was to 
arrange for younger sons to marry their older brothers' widows to 
ensure that family units remained intact. 
 
EDUCATION AND ENTITLEMENTS UNDER SOVIETS CHANGED THINKING 
 
5.  (U) With the introduction of the mandatory 10 years of education 
for all children under the Soviets, the old ways began to break 
down, and Turkmen women began to be less bound by tradition. 
Instead, encouraged by a Soviet policy supporting "Komsomol 
marriages" (love marriages) -- and enabled by state guarantees of 
jobs, housing and social benefits -- women started choosing their 
own marital partners, rather than relying on their parents, 
matchmakers and relatives.  But even in Soviet era, the tradition of 
arranged marriages continued to be practiced in Turkmenistan's rural 
areas. 
 
ARRANGED MARRIAGES INCREASE IN FACE OF NEW TRADITIONALISM 
 
6.  (SBU) Since Turkmenistan's independence in 1991, there has been 
a resurgence of traditionalism, which has been, in part, 
deliberately cultivated by former President Niyazov's effort to 
strengthen Turkmen culture.  These changes have also been propelled 
by economic necessity, as unemployment and the cost of living have 
increased, and housing prices have soared.  In such an environment, 
many are forced to live with their parents, placing them once again 
in a more traditional environment where they remain dependent on the 
extended family unit. 
 
CHILDREN MAINTAIN A SAY IN WHO THEY MARRY 
 
7.  (SBU) Because Turkmen consider marriage a social contract, which 
imposes certain obligations on both spouses to contribute to the 
family's well-being, Turkmen approach the choice of a future spouse 
with a certain responsibility for ensuring that the marriage will be 
strong and stable.  As a result, both sets of parents will discuss 
whether the two children are compatible.  If they agree there are 
possibilities, they allow the children to meet each other briefly 
 
ASHGABAT 00000005  002 OF 003 
 
 
and decide for themselves whether they want to proceed with the 
marriage.  In identifying potential couples, rural families pay most 
attention to physical strength and a strong work ethic, while urban 
families stress reputation and education.  Families also try to 
marry within the same socio-economic circles to capitalize on a 
shared sense of values and morality. 
 
8.  (SBU) In the larger metropolitan areas, at least, the daughters 
are not forced to marry.  In one family, the parents reportedly 
relented after seeing their daughter cry for three weeks after the 
marriage was proposed.  However, family pressure can act as a strong 
incentive, especially in villages, against opposing all but the 
least desirable matches.  Likewise, women approaching 25 -- the 
upper bracket of what is considered to be a marriageable age -- face 
increased pressure to compromise, lest they bring social stigma upon 
themselves and their families by not marrying.  And in cases of 
pre-marital pregnancy, the pressure to marry is especially strong. 
Although Turkmenistan's law protects the rights of both parties to 
reject marriage, most cases where one or both parties oppose a 
proposed marriage are worked out within the extended family using 
mediation by family elders, rather than calling on judicial 
mechanisms. 
 
9.  (SBU) Occasionally, family pressure to marry can lead to 
suicide.  In one recent case, a would-be bride immolated herself, 
rather than go ahead with a marriage.  However, most families -- 
faced with the prospect of suicide, which is considered especially 
shameful in the Turkmen culture because it keeps the deceased's soul 
from being blessed by God -- are likely to back off before the 
situation reaches that point. 
 
"BRIDE KIDNAPPING" 
 
10.  (SBU) The other side of the coin of the arranged marriage -- 
the "bride kidnapping" -- is also facing a comeback.  An elopement 
arranged consensually between two young people, the "bride 
kidnapping" is a way of forcing the issue when a couple is in love, 
the groom cannot afford a bride price, or the parents of one of the 
young people oppose the marriage because the other party is from an 
unacceptable tribe or socio-economic background.  In such cases, the 
parents of the bride and groom are virtually forced to consent to 
the marriage after the fact, or face social censure because their 
children engaged in pre-marital relations.  Unless the bride is 
under the legal marriage age of 16, bride kidnappers are rarely 
prosecuted because of a traditional reluctance to bring such cases 
into the public realm. 
 
BRIDE PRICE ALSO MAKES A COMEBACK 
 
11.  (SBU) The "bride price" -- a fee of $2000-$5000 paid by the 
groom's family to the parents of the bride in recognition of their 
role in nurturing their daughter -- is an essential element of the 
arranged marriage.  Although the practice of giving a bride price 
was illegal during the Soviet era, it has been virtually 
institutionalized in post-Soviet Turkmenistan.  The parents are 
responsible for negotiating the arranged marriage and also assume 
responsibility for negotiating the bride price.  The price can vary 
widely, based on the bride's appearance, reputation, skills (a good 
education typically counts against a bride, since she is considered 
to be more independent and a less-skilled homemaker) and her family 
background. 
 
12.  (SBU) Bride prices are typically substantially lower in love 
marriages, and they are most often negotiated by the sons.  In many 
cases, the son only tenders up a token payment -- maybe a piece of 
jewelry -- to the bride's mother, and pays for the bride's wedding 
clothes, jewelry and other expenses.  In cases of "bride 
kidnapping," the prices are lowest, since the consent of the bride's 
parents after the fact to the marriage considerably lowers the 
negotiating power of the bride's family. 
 
NEW OPENNESS TO MARRIAGE WITH FOREIGNERS 
 
13.  (U) Traditionally, Turkmen males were allowed to marry females 
 
ASHGABAT 00000005  003 OF 003 
 
 
with different religious beliefs because children born in such 
marriages received the religion of their father.  This provision was 
widely practiced by Turkmen Bolshevik leaders, who married Russian 
females because of their higher education level.  By comparison, 
however, even during the Soviet era, Turkmen females were allowed to 
marry only Turkmen males.  As Turkmenistan has opened up to the 
outside world, even this practice is beginning to disappear.  Many 
young Turkmen females marry foreigners of Turkish and European 
origin.  Such marriages often happen with the consent of a girl's 
parents, who view such a marriage as a good choice for a better 
future for their daughter. 
 
14.  (SBU) COMMENT:  Just as in any other country in the world, it 
is impossible to ensure that all marriages turn out happily, and 
some experts claim that spouse abuse remains a serious problem here. 
 With most Turkmen women choosing to marry rather than to endure the 
social stigma from remaining single, women's ability to choose who 
they marry is closely linked to women's rights.  A recent law on 
women's rights (reftels) was passed guaranteeing women's say-so 
regarding a marriage partner.  After millennia of arranged marriages 
and 70 years of "love matches," modern Turkmen society is finding 
something in between suits the need to balance choice, family, 
responsibility, security, and tradition. 
 
HOAGLAND