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P 171404Z APR 06
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TO RUEHLO/AMEMBASSY LONDON PRIORITY 1349
RUEHFR/AMEMBASSY PARIS PRIORITY 1427
RUEHRH/AMEMBASSY RIYADH PRIORITY 6419
RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC PRIORITY 9069
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RUEAIIA/CIA WASHDC PRIORITY
RHEHAAA/NSC WASHDC PRIORITY

C O N F I D E N T I A L JEDDAH 000302 
 
SIPDIS 
 
SIPDIS 
 
RIYADH, PLEASE PASS TO DHAHRAN; PARIS FOR ZEYA; LONDON FOR 
TSOU; DEPARTMENT FOR NEA/ARP 
 
SIPDIS 
 
E.O. 12958: DECL: 04/16/2016 
TAGS: PGOV SOCI SA
SUBJECT: FAREWELL KSA: WEALTHY WESTERN WIVES' UNREALIZED 
DREAM 
 
 
Classified By: Consul General Tatiana Gfoeller, for reasons 1.4 (b) and 
 (d). 
 
¶1. (C) SUMMARY AND COMMENT.  Over the course of her tenure 
here in Jeddah, the Consul General has had the opportunity to 
speak with a number of Western expatriate women who are 
married to wealthy Saudi businessmen.  Their story is always 
the same: they dream of leaving Saudi Arabia behind to settle 
down with their husbands back in the West.  They cannot admit 
to themselves or anyone else that theirs is a dream that will 
never be realized. While their rhetoric about why they and 
their husbands remain in the Kingdom varies over time, their 
reality is unchanged.  Most become accustomed to their 
affluent lifestyles and are unwilling to sacrifice wealth for 
freedom.  Eventually they resign themselves to the fact that 
they will never live permanently in the West again, and 
instead spend months at a time in their home countries, 
upholding the fiction of a stable household in exchange for 
an exorbitant allowance.  END SUMMARY AND COMMENT. 
 
AN UNLIKELY RETIREMENT TO THE WEST 
 
¶2. (C) The CG has had many opportunities to speak with 
Western expatriate women who are married to wealthy Saudi 
men.  She first met some of these women when she herself was 
posted to Saudi Arabia 18 years ago.  Most are married to men 
who they met in their home countries and who have returned 
with their wives to Saudi Arabia to work in their families' 
businesses.  Each of these women in their early forties says 
that, while they enjoy their affluent lifestyles here in the 
Kingdom, the restrictions on their movement and their 
treatment as second-class citizens is hard on them. 
Nonetheless, they assert that they are here to raise their 
children while their husbands make money.  "The plan, after 
all, is to retire to the West." 
 
¶3. (C) Eighteen years later, the CG has seen the same women 
in the same situation they were in back then; their husbands 
long retired without having ever moved back to the West. 
Many of their husbands have built separate new homes for 
their children's families alongside their own homes.  As the 
family's next generation begins taking root in Saudi Arabia, 
these expat wives slowly come to the realization that their 
husbands will never move.  Some are now in their late sixties 
with independent children and have no pretext anymore for 
delaying moving to the West.  Instead they spend half of the 
year abroad.  One Brazilian wife of a wealthy Saudi man 
admitted that she spends nine months in her home country, 
Western Europe or America. 
 
AN ARC OF PROGRESSION 
 
¶4. (C) The CG has noticed the same trend with a new 
generation of expat wives who live under the pretense that 
they, too, will retire back to their home countries.  The 
tendency amongst them is consistent: They meet their Saudi 
husbands, get married, and move to Saudi Arabia all the while 
telling themselves and others that the move is temporary.  As 
time marches on, the wives' rhetoric about their situation 
becomes increasingly unrealistic.  Their goal post - the trip 
wire which will send them and their husbands back to the West 
- is constantly moving. At first they declare that that they 
will remain in the Kingdom until their children graduate high 
school.  When that doesn't happen, they declare that they and 
their husbands are only living in Saudi Arabia until their 
children get married or have children of their own. 
Eventually their feeble self-delusion disappears and they 
resign themselves to the fact that their husbands will never 
leave their families, their money, their homes, or their 
businesses behind.  This phenomenon can be visualized as an 
arc that traces the progression of the wives' state of mind: 
they begin their lives in Saudi Arabia with realistic plans, 
which are then superseded by naive hopes and implausible 
rhetoric until, finally, resignation sets in and expectations 
are once again pragmatic. 
 
SPOILED TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN 
 
¶5. (C)  At a recent dinner party, the CG sat next to an AmCit 
spouse of a wealthy Saudi businessman.  She and her husband 
had not been in Saudi Arabia for very long. "We're just here 
for the kids," she said. "We'll retire to the States. We 
won't live in Saudi Arabia forever."  Later at the same 
 
dinner party, PolOff sat with this woman's husband, a wealthy 
yet brash man who, despite being married to an American, 
opined that he was delighted that September 11th happened for 
"The American infidels got what they deserved."  He also 
declared that he would never set foot in the United States 
again.  When a fellow-diner joked with him about being 
married to an American woman despite his hatred of all things 
American, the man became visibly agitated and began swearing 
and cursing at everyone around him. 
 
¶6. (C) On a separate occasion, a group of five affluent older 
Saudi men who are married to Western women discussed the 
issue with each other and with the CG.  With bittersweet 
undertones, the men all explained to the group where their 
wives were at the time.  "My wife has a dentist appointment 
in Brazil," chuckled one gentleman.  "My wife is shopping in 
London," added another.  The five men confided in the CG that 
they have told their wives that there are only so many months 
a year that the women are permitted to spend abroad.  If they 
go over that allotted time, they are threatened with one of 
three punishments: either they will be cut off financially or 
the men will divorce them or take a second wife.  The 
threats, the men claimed, keep the women on the 
"straight-and-narrow."  They admitted that all of their wives 
had enough money to leave them and live modestly on their 
own.  However, the men concluded that their wives were 
"spoiled" to the point that they would never leave their 
husbands for fear of abandoning their posh, affluent 
lifestyles.  COMMENT. It seems that these men are correct. 
These women are accustomed to a certain lifestyle and will 
accept nothing less in exchange for their freedom.  Clearly, 
these five men and others with whom the CG has spoken in the 
past have little respect for their wives. 
 
¶7. (C)  AmConGen Jeddah ConOffs have met a number of American 
women who find themselves in the same predicament. While they 
are free to travel between the West and Saudi Arabia more or 
less as often as they would like, they are unhappy and 
explore the possibility of leaving their husbands. 
Inevitably, the women conclude that "it's really not that 
bad" so long as they have access to their vast allowances. 
Gfoeller